International Landshark Association
What is a land shark?
A land shark is a celebration of life and an offering to the gods of silly.
The common landshark is an impressive sight. A typical specimen measures 1.5 m to 2 m in length and can weigh in at around 350 kg. The shark glides over the ground on several sets of leg-like appendages that probably evolved from its missing caudal fin. One of its most unique features is its almost perfectly circular dorsal fin with distinct markings, which can be used to uniquely identify the shark's origin.
For more info on habitat, behaviour, diet and relationship to humans, see Uncyclopedia.
We celebrate by landsharking: One person (shark) strips naked and then wedges a disc (frisbee, plate, etc.) between their butt cheeks (the shark fin). The shark is then lifted onto the shoulders of 4–6 bearers, who carry the shark through the cheering masses. The bearers may be topless ("coastal") or fully naked ("deep-sea"). There are also further variations:
- The Shark is carried face down.
- The Porpoise is carried face up with the disc wedged on the chest (assistance is allowed).
- A Catamaran involves two parallel Sharks or Porpoises.
- The Poseidon rides naked on top of a Shark, Porpoise or Catamaran
⚠ Safety Warning ⚠
Always shark safely. All sharking at your own risk.
Do not take pictures or videos without explicit consent.
Why landshark?
To be silly, to remain silly and inspire the folks around us to embrace the silly.
What is a lands shark race?
When multiple sharks race to complete with each other to complete a race as fast as possible. Shark races have some basic rules:
- Sharks that drop their fin cannot move until the fin is wedged back in place.
- For multi-round races, the shark must be a different person each round.
- In tied races, the deeper sea shark wins.
Local races may choose to add additional rules for challenge.
What is a landsharker?
A landsharker is somebody that values respect and consent when enjoying participating in and celebrating of land sharks.
Wanna meet other landsharkers?
Join our Land Shark Association by filling this form!
Membership is free to all humans, but requires any applicant to:
- Be of legal age (usually 18 years) in their country
- Do a front roll once every calendar year
For anything else, feel free to reach out to hello@landsharkers.org.
Community Safety
If you want to help keeping the community safe you can use these logos to communicate shark friendy or unfriendly areas:
⚠ Safety Warning ⚠
Always shark safely. All sharking at your own risk.
Do not take pictures or videos without explicit consent.